Sunday, December 5, 2010

An eventful day: Snoopy writes in his diary

Dear Diary,

Today started out really good. I got up early to look for Raul, who brings me my hay. I waited forever, but he finally brought it. I was hungry so I ate it all. It was good. Then I looked out of my stall, but no one else was around. The other horses were still eating. I was bored.

It's easy for a guy to be bored in a stall. There's not much to look at. Not much to do. If I was in a big place with lots of horses, it would be more fun. When I was little, I remember being in a big place with two older guys, Tucker and Johnny. Before that, I had been in with Uncle Snowy. And even before that, I was with Mom.

The bigger place was fun to run around. I like to run around. I like to look at things and bite them to see what they are. Sometimes I pick them up and throw them. Johnny and Tucker wouldn't let me bite them. Neither would Uncle Snowy. Mom wasn't crazy about it either.

Once, I got in with the goats. They were fun to bite. I could pick them up by the tail, but I couldn't throw them very far. They complained, so the man took me back to my own pen.

Now Two-Legged Mom says I'm a big boy and have to be in a stall. I like her, even if she won't let me bite her, but I'm bored in the stall. Once I had to be in my stall for a long time. My leg kinda hurt. They took me to a place where I laid down to sleep and woke up with something heavy on my foot. It was there forever, then they took me back to the place and took it off forever, then I went back to my stall and stayed forever.

At least, I thought it was all forever. I was really bored in my stall. I found out, if I bite something and swallow, it makes my brain all floaty and my body gets tingly. It was fun. I started doing it all the time. If I was going to be in my stall forever, I might as well have fun.

Today, after I ate, I bit the stall door and swallowed. It felt good. I did it again. Again and again and again and again and then Auntie Niki came to my stall and said, "Knock it off, horse. The cribbing is driving me nuts."

But I don't know what that meant, so I just kept biting and swallowing and feeling good about it. Auntie Niki got me out of my stall and let me run around in the little pen. I love to run and jump. She took me to the Wet Standing Place and sprayed water on me, then took me to the Dirt Standing Place and made me stand there forever.

At least, I thought it was forever, but she took me back to my stall. There was nothing to do, so I started biting and swallowing again.

Two-Legged Mom came. I nickered, "Hello."

"Santa got you an early present, Snoop Dog," she said.

I don't know who this Santa is, or what a present is, or even what early means. Mostly, I heard, "Blah, blah, blah, Snoop Dog." But I love it when she talks to me.

She and Auntie Niki came into my stall. Auntie Niki put something on my neck and talked to Two-Legged Mom. She said, "Blah, blah, blah, his throatlatch, blah-blah, blah."

When they left my stall, there was still something on my neck. It was hard, but didn't hurt. I bit my stall door and tried to swallow.

I couldn't! I couldn't swallow and make my head floaty! It must be the thing on my neck. I licked the stall door, but it wasn't the same. I pouted forever, until dinner came. Then I ate.

This Santa must be a very bad person to make me stop biting and swallowing. I mean, I love Auntie Niki and Two-Legged Mom, but WTF?