Friday, July 26, 2019

Some days.

It's hard to believe that Snoopy has been retired and living in Temecula for almost two years. 

Snoopy kept following me around the paddock. 

Last year, Frostie joined him, although they don't live in the same paddock. She lives at the other end, with another mare, Aisha, and a gelding, Bodie. Her next-door neighbors include a Mustang named John Doe. He's her boyfriend. Bodie is interested, also. It's quite the triangle.

Frostie, chilling in her fly mask.

I try to visit as often as I can. Sometimes, it's once a week, sometimes it's once a month. Temecula is a good hour-and-a-half from my house, so I have to plan a 4ish-hour trip. I always bring treats for them all, carrots or apples. At Christmas, there are candy canes. When I can in the summer, I make popsicles for them out of Jello, apple juice, carrots and apples.

It never feels like enough.

Some days, I go and feed them and pet them and feel happy that they are settled and being horses. Some days, it's more like a haunting--a graveyard of memories. I remember meeting Frostie for the first time, at a horse show in Santa Barbara. By the time the show was over, I wanted her so badly, it felt like a fire in my gut.

I also reminisce about Snoopy and me. I have a new show horse now. His name is All Hats Off, aka Dhani. He is beautiful, and a great competition horse--easy to ride, totally chill personality, yet quirky. I'm having a great time bonding with him. He's not as cuddly as Frostie, but he doesn't try to eat me like Snoopy does. I'd say, he puts up with my nose smooches. He's a much better show horse than Snoopy, and we get better every time we compete.

Dhani and I at the Hollywood Charity Horse Show

Having said all that, there are still days when I wish with all my heart that he was Snoopy.

Today, I visited and spent time talking to each of them. Frostie and I talked about planning for an emergency. I explained that, if and when the time comes for her to cross over, I want to be there with her, but I may not be able to. The most important thing for me is that she not suffer just because I can't get there in time. I told her that I would be with her in my heart, and I would always love her.

Did she understand? I can't say, but it made me feel better.

Snoopy and I remembered all the good times at the shows, even the times he was a total goofball and grabbed plants and things on the trail course. I told him how grateful I was for everything he taught me, and that, even if he wasn't an "old soul," he'd earned his place as one. When the day comes for him to cross over, I thought he'd be able to return, if he wanted, to help someone else the way he helped me.

Did he understand? I can't say, but... hell, I'm not sure if I understood.

Afterward, I had a lovely lunch at South Coast Winery, and cried all the way home. 

Some days are like that.

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