Monday, May 20, 2013

The truth shall set you free

Since I've been riding horses, I've enjoyed taking horseback rides practically every where I vacation. Dale and I go together on most of them. My trainer has always given me the same advice: don't tell them that you know how to ride.

The myth is that if a rental place knows you ride, they'll give you the rankest beast in the place. The reality is probably more understandable. If a tour guide has five people and one knows how to ride, they'll probably give the more experienced rider the horse that has to be handled a little more.

It's the way Niki figures out which girls ride which horses in our group lessons.

Usually, I tell the stables that I ride "a little." I try to say it with a shrug. Once I'm on a nice, quiet horse and we're walking down the path, I confess. That way, I get to look at the scenery instead of actively ride through it.

When Dale and I were going to Cambria, I looked for horseback riding and found Outback Trails. They do some trail rides around Cambria, but they also do a ride through a vineyard, followed by a complimentary wine tasting. Horses and wine? Count me in.

I exchanged emails with a chipper Aussie named Mick, then on Friday, Dale and I wound our way through the wine country of the Central Coast until we found Cass Winery on Linne Road. It looked like a lovely vineyard, and a beautiful day.

"So, Day-yul and Gay-yul," Mick said in his very Aussie accent. He was not very tall, very trim, and had the largest, whitest teeth I've ever seen. "Hae much roiding haeve ya done?" (Translation: Dale and Gayle, how much riding have you done?)

I did my usual, "a little" shrug, then looked at Dale and added, "he's done..." My morning brain did a quick calculation - if I've done a little, then Dale's done... "less."

Mick went off with his assistant Charlie (not Aussie, but Idahoian) to get the horses. Dale used this opportunity to shoot me The Look. "Less?" he asked. I shrugged. "Relatively. Niki wears her tennis shoes, tells them she doesn't ride, and tries to put the wrong foot in the stirrup. At least I'm wearing my boots."

I heard my name, so I walked over to a fairly average-sized buckskin. Charlie put the mounting block next to the horse and started to help me up, when Mick said, "Wait, tie off the lead rope first. It'll be easier in the long run." At this point, Charlie started looping the lead rope over the saddle horn and I was chatting and they were chatting and we were all chatting and I forgot what I was doing.

"There you go," Charlie said after the rope was secured. "Now you can get up."

I saw the knotted reins lying on the horse's neck, and in one natural swoop, I picked them up, grabbed the saddle, and swung up. Mick was on the other side, giving me another kind of Look.

"You say you've ridden a little?" he asked, smiling.

I folded like a defective card table. "Okay-I-own-two-Quarter-horses-and-show-competitively," I blurted.

"When you grabbed those reins, I knew you had to have some experience," Mick told me. "Non-riders don't know to do that."

I explained that I just wanted a relaxing walk and told him of my trainer's advice. He smiled even bigger. "All trainers tell us they don't ride, just because they want an easy day." Then he patted my horse. "Bear here is our gentlest horse. He's the one I put my three-year-old on."

Me and Bear


Bear, gave me a very easy ride. Dale and I followed Charlie on his horse, and Mick driving a wagon pulled by two Belgians (it was their first day here), while we wandered around the various paths of the vineyard for an hour. Charlie and I chatted the whole time about horses and working and weather and winemaking. (Turns out, when he's not a guide, Charlie is a farrier. He's new to the area and trying to build his business.) Dale's bay horse, Frankie, was in a mellow mood and didn't want to walk that fast, so they would get very far behind us and Dale would have to make him trot to catch up.

After our thoroughly enjoyable ride, we went over to the winery and got a free wine tasting plus half-price on a fruit and cheese plate. It was all relaxing and lovely and a great way to start our day of winetasting.



Will I continue to do my "I ride a little" shrug? If I do, I have to learn not to grab the reins on my way up.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Preak what?

Dear Diary,

I heard there's some kind of big fancy race this weekend. MomToo talks about this guy all the time.



If you ask me, it looks like too much work.

Have a great weekend!

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Ten, nine, eight...

After months of working to get everything lined up and ready, I think we're set to have a successful launch. Here are the details:

THE OFFICIAL LAUNCH:
The official paperback launch will be at the Lights, Camera, Action AQHA/CRHA Horse Show in Burbank (at the Los Angeles Equestrian Center), May 30-June 2. DETAILS: All AQHA Trail Circuit Champions will receive a Snoopy goody bag. I will be selling autographed copies of From the Horse's Mouth in the afternoons all four days.

PRE-LAUNCH:
For people who cannot wait until then, I will have copies available at the ranch for one day, May 25, from 2 to 4 pm at the Silver Rose Ranch, 2954 English Road, Chino Hills, CA.



I NEED YOUR ATTENTION FOR THIS PART.

Thank you.

Snoopy lives at the ranch, but I do not. There are lots of horses boarded, owned by different people and trained by one of the three professional trainers based here. Strangers are welcome, but they cannot wander willy-nilly around the premises. Therefore, if you'd like to visit on May 25th, I need you to RSVP in the comments below so I know who/how many to expect. If you just show up, I may not be at the front to greet you, and if you wander willy-nilly, I must warn you, there is a pack of border collies running about and they are usually in the mood to nip at strangers' heels.

P.S. If for some reason you can't leave a comment, email me at gaylecarline(at)sbcglobal(dot)com.

E-BOOK LAUNCH:
For those of you who want the e-version, it will be available on Kindle on May 30. It will be priced at $4.99.

We're almost there!

Monday, April 8, 2013

Can a horse get his ducks in a row?

The release of From the Horse's Mouth is less than two months away, and Jennifer Silva Redmond is achingly correct. My writer's heart is saying NOW! NOW! WE SHOULD RELEASE NOW! My publisher's head is saying WHOA THERE, NELLY, LET'S GET THE PROMOS DONE FIRST.

What do we have so far?

1. The paperback version is finally as perfect as I (and my cast of helpful helpers) can make it. I've ordered a bunch of copies that should see me through the launch in June.

2. I've got a banner to put up at the launch, plus any other signings I go to. I only wish I could take Snoopy to all the signings, but I don't think I could afford the liability - how many people can he chew on in one day's autographing?



3. I ordered some giveaways for, well, giving away. Check out the mug:


Front of mug


And the hat:



4. I've got some ads lined up in some magazines.

5. I'm writing press releases for various sites.

6. The ebook version is ready to upload. I can't upload it to KDP yet because it will go live within 48 hours when I do. But tick-tock-tick-tock, it's coming.

There's a lot more, but I don't want to give away any surprises!

Monday, March 11, 2013

All better

Dear Diary,

Sorry I haven't written in forever. I had a stomach ache.

Last week, the ranch men fed me breakfast. I ate part of it, but I started to hurt a little, so I stopped eating and laid down instead. Then I felt better and stood up. Then I felt worse and laid down. All day long, I would feel good for a while, then my stomach would start pinching me and I would have to lie down.

Auntie Niki got me out of my stall and put me on the hot walker to stretch my legs. I think she hoped I could stretch my stomach, too. It didn't.



At lunchtime when I was supposed to get my goodies, MomToo was talking to her little talking toy instead. After forever, Dr. Wasmund showed up. She's a very nice doctor, but first she pinched my neck and I got super sleepy. Then she stuck a tube up my nose and down my neck and pumped a bunch of stuff into my stomach. MomToo mixed up some bran mash for me. It tasted good, but my stomach still didn't want any food, so I only ate a little.

By dinnertime, I wasn't sleepy anymore and my stomach still hurt. I didn't get any dinner. That's when MomToo and Auntie Niki and I walked down to the hospital. They took me into the big stall with no shavings and made clicking noises with their machines. I didn't like their machines at first, but I got used to the big creaky wall they kept moving around my stomach.

Dr. Klohnen came and looked at my pictures. He told MomToo and Auntie Niki a bunch of things. I didn't understand most of his words. He said I was dehydrated, whatever that was, and that they would keep me and give me fluids.

If that made my stomach stop pinching, I was okay with that.


I was in the hospital forever. Sometimes it was fun, especially when MomToo and Auntie Niki came to visit. They would take me to the grass area. I had never grazed before. It was fun. Doctor Brigid came to see me, too. She did not feed me cookies at first, because she said my stomach ache had to get better. But soon she started to poke them through the holes in my face bucket.

This is my face bucket. I had to wear it all the time, except when I was eating. I didn't like the face bucket.




This morning, MomToo and Auntie Niki came to walk me home. I was very excited. They brought Auntie Niki's dog Teddy and her tiny human Tyler with them. Auntie Niki said Tyler had ridden me a long time ago, but I think I would have remembered him. MomToo and Tyler got in the little cart and left. Auntie Niki and Teddy walked with me.

I was trying to be good on the road, but some horses in a pasture ran toward me and made me very happy. I reared and jumped and wanted to join them. Auntie Niki got a little mad at me for not being good, and Doctor Brigid came out of a ranch and distracted me. We all walked back to my stall together.



Now I'm back home and enjoying my hay. I hope I don't get any more stomach aches. The humans in the hospital are very nice, but I'd rather be in my nice warm stall with all my friends around.


Monday, March 4, 2013

Would you like to make a reservation?

One of the unfortunate things about producing books with CreateSpace is that I cannot specify an exact release date in the future and allow Amazon (and other outlets) to accept pre-orders. What I CAN do is accept pre-orders my own darned self.

The bad news? Well, I'm not as rich as Amazon, so I do charge for shipping costs, plus it might take a little time to get your copy, since the books have to be delivered to me, then I ship them to you. As a (co)author, it feels weird to be the middle man, but them's the breaks.

The good news? You can get your copy autographed. TO YOU. This is something you can't get on Amazon.

The button to your right will allow you to pre-order your autographed copy. After June, when the book is available, the button will still exist, so you can order your autographed copy.

I'm trying to line up some signings, too. If you can make it to one of those, you can save shipping costs.

Maybe I'll see you there, instead!

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Got a question? Ask me!

MomToo got me an email account, so everyone can ask me stuff and I can answer them. Want to know something about horses? I'll do my best to tell you. You can reach me at:

SnoopyTheQuarterHorse(at)gmail(dot)com.

I'm also on Twitter now. You can follow me (at)SnoopytheQH, and I'll follow you back!